My parents say I look good in braces!

Last night reminded me of all those kids in elementary school who were naive enough to believe their parents' lies, told to soften the often biting harshness of reality.  Example:  Anjay was sucking it up at the challenge.  His team members are visibly pissed.  Off-screen he explains:  "I'm not very good at physical activity.  I haven't built much muscle because my bones are still forming!" Obviously something Mom said when he cried for repeatedly getting picked last for any sports team.  I'm sure my boy Colton's bones are still forming (it's doubtful he'll be 4'8" the rest of his life) but he was in there grabbing cans like it was nobody's business.

 

Also, shout out to Alex for taking pride in where his strengths lie instead of making flimsy excuses.  "I never give up, though," he explained.  But then he lost some credibility in my book when he followed it up with, "unless it's beyond hope."  So he never gives up unless he thinks he should give up. 

 

Additionally--did anyone else think Greg was going to break his neck diving into the bean tank head-first?  You're not supposed to do that in 4 feet of water, let alone 4 INCHES. 

 

For the record, I would like to state that Guylan is awful.  The worst part about him is that he does not know he is awful. 

A Choice Between Mother Earth and Fossil Fuels

Upon unveiling a shed containing approximately 18 items, the host said it was "every fruit and vegetable imaginable." Um, what? The other day I bought pluots and kiwi berries (tiny tiny kiwis that you can eat without peeling) and I didn't see those. I didn't even see regular plums or apricots (although kiwis did play a prominent role in the dramatic fruit salad scene). The best parts of the Kid Nation Fruit/Veg Frenzy are as follows:

5) guylan eating corn (uncooked???)
4) some kid gnawing on a cucumber
3) the fact that someone chose a carrot instead of something better (ie, anything but a carrot)
2) the producers' decision to include artichokes as one of the 18 items. like kids know how to cook those.
1) someone off camera yelling "I GOT A PEAR!!!!!!!!"

BCity Necessities

I watched a random video on the KN website (falsely advertised as a preview of next week's episode) and it turns out that Cody wanted to leave because he missed his wheelchair-bound brother. That is a much more compelling story than his serious long-term girlfriend. Why didn't it make the cut?

Also, I am going to keep a running tally of anytime a kid says "A man needs ___." So far, we have learned that A Man Needs Root Beer (Cody--episode 3) and that A Man Needs Meat (some kid--- episode 5). By process of elimination, we have learned that men/women/kids whose parents hate them enough to send them to Kid Nation do not need toothbrushes, basic first aid, mattresses, pizza, miniature golf, and political barbecues. I am seriously going to keep track of this.

To Grill Or To Wear A Grill

Wait, so you're telling me that these kids weren't allowed to bring toothbrushes with them for this 40 day TV summer camp experiment? That is absurd. Pioneers should value dental hygiene.

Also, what was up with the PADLOCKED ballot boxes? If we can't trust these kids not to engage in voter fraud, how can we expect them to build a successful town? The host was standing right there--- what could they even do? This bothered me.

- Commemorative Buffalo Nickel #5: Markelle pogo sticking on Taylor's poster

Additionally...

Also, I don't know much about this guy (below) but I think I'm about to like him.  It looks like he's got something up his sleeve.

 

Last Night Redux

Taylor is out of power, as we all suspected she would be, but at least she took it like a man.  What is with Mike crying in front of everyone?  True, he did get the shaft a bit because Guylan's best quality is his ability to maintain a straight face when he wears his bandana in that lame way (see below).  More later, but I'll leave you with my biggest lament about last night:  Why didn't Jared run? 

 

Can't We All Just Get Along

I loved this scene! 4 kids were in the midst of a holy war with Taylor's sidekick caught in the middle. They kept yelling "Jew Crew" and "No, Christian is better" and she just rolled her eyes and glared at them. She is my new favorite kid.

I hate hate hate the pioneer journal. Causing so much trouble yet again. Instead of guilt-tripping them into going to bed early and praying, the journal should tell them that the pioneers in the 1880s would've been able to make the town succeed if only neosporin and chapstick had been invented. These kids are looking rough. Are they all just copying trend setter Greg? Hopefully they are all secretly Christian Scientists and will start healing now that they have sacred religious texts.

Cody's serious long-term girlfriend better not dump him now that he left Bonanza City for her. No, I am sure they will last. And Anjay will perform a Hindu ceremony at their wedding.

Are those jackets they wore during the challenge new? Did the producers finally wise up to the realities of frostbite and decide to properly clothe these kids? That is not the pioneer way!

- Commemorative Buffalo Nickel #4: Jared meditating.

Repost of Picture

Here's the picture again.  For some reason it got cut off on my last post.  I'd just go in and edit but I don't have a ton of blog-editing skills and can only post by email.  My skills obv lie elsewhere, like in the serious legal professional business.

Angry Villagers

After this week's episode, I thought it only fitting to include this picture of angry villagers.  The one in front is Greg because he looks the meanest.  The one in grey is Alex (I know--he's not an angry dude and is probably the least likely citizen of BCity to storm anything but the tooth is almost dead on).  The last guy is probably Colton with a pencilled on moustache.  Notice how their hands are appropriately shaped to hold a bottle of rootbeer and/or shot of vanilla syrup.  

 

So it's pretty clear by now that people are pissed in the "long lost ghost town".  Angry about the leadership (or lack thereof?), angry about not getting pizza last week, angry that the TMNT movie got cancelled, whatever.  But why are they angry all of the sudden?  Or is this just the very clever, absolutely-not-transparent forshadowing of CBS for next week's impeachment episode?

 

Side note:  Sophia is starting to annoy me.  Can we strip someone of their gold star? 

bonanza withdrawl

I am on a plane. Sending good thoughts to the Jew crew. Cannot wait to watch this shit.