I doubt there are many among you, avid readers, that were swayed by Becky's recent post in defense of Guylan, but just in case....
REASONS GUYLAN IS THE WORST:
10. BAD ANALOGIES. "Power is very difficult to handle. Power is like holding a cobra, one wrong move and it bites. However, if handled with care it can be a great asset and experience." Since when has holding a cobra ever been considered a great asset? The cobra itself is the asset, sure, and holding it might be a good experience, but that was just shitty phrasing.
9. RED SCARE. "Fidel Castro is a world leader that I admire"
8. WEIRD. "Do you have a favorite drink? Anything that sparkles." Sparkles? Like sparkling apple cider? You're 11 so that is pretty much the limit.
7. NERD. "Who are your best friends? Zach is a very good friend of mine. He and I play very complicated games that can take days." Like D&D? Magic the Gathering?
6. WIMP. "What would people be surprised to learn about you? I think that a lot of people would be surprised to learn that after being raised by two elephant trainers that I'm afraid of little spiders. Tarantulas don't bother me but little wolf spiders and daddy long-legs creep me out. However I don't go around killing them for no reason. Instead I run away screaming like a little girl." No, really?
5. I'm sure there are a million more but I'm out of time, being the serious legal professional that I am, so I'll just skip to....
The Number One reason Guylan is the worst: THAT STUPID WAY HE WEARS HIS BANDANA (see a few posts below).
5 comments:
Um . . . you just sh*t on a 10-year-old boy.
What's wrong with you? :-D
This kid is clearly more mature and open-minded than the average kid his age. I mean, he's got the insight to see through 5 decades of government propaganda and actually realize Fidel Castro is not the monster he's made out to be.
But seriously, great blog. Love it!
And I don't even watch the show.
Abdul
wow dont u think thats a little harsh he had the balls to go on tv and do this unlike most kids
No, Guylan is okay. Mike is the guy who grates on my nerves.
Twenty bucks says he's most likely to get beaten down on a daily basis in high school and then run for student body president. Just sayin'.
i love guylan! he is so nice, funny and really cute! i hate you!(whoever wrote this: are you drunk or just plain stupid?!)
Mrs. Sprouse: Please tell me the "Mrs" part is some inside joke and you are 12. PLEASE.
Post a Comment