Book Learnin'

"Education is the root of civilization. If a person is uneducated, they'll be flipping burgers at the supermarket." Wait a minute Jared, do they even have burgers at the supermarket?

Ok, I am super busy, but I really need to talk about this "history of Bonanza City" letdown. I assumed that CBS got some college intern to make up a fake history of this fake town. Imagine my disappointment when it turned out to just be a history of the local Native Americans. Not cool.

Also, how hard is it to sit in a room and listen to a kid read to you from a fake book? Answer: not hard. Especially when the alternative is sitting around in a chicken coop. What I'm saying is that Taylor is dumb. Maybe if she liked learning, she'd have learned some basic logic by now.

Did you guys hear when the host guy told the kids they are "good students and good shooters." FALSE!! Zach thought there was an Indian tribe called the pintos and Mike wasted all the red team's ammo. Hunter is an aberration, but that could be expected b/c of his experience with guns. Also, his name is Hunter.

10 chickens, 1 ax, 10 heads

CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE PART 2, y'all!!! Emilie has a new ally in Taylor. And another ally in Kelsey because she is a lackey. Wait, does it count as civil disobedience if they advocate the killing of ugly chickens? That would be like if MLK said to disenfranchise Asians, right?

Be honest guys- when did you first know about pi?? I think I first heard of it in high school and I am really good at math!! Alex is trying to out-nerd Jared, but it is hard to compete with Jared's knowledge of extraterrestrials/weird hat. Anjay can only look on in defeat; he has been thoroughly out-nerded. Next week Alex will probably mention L'Hopital's Rule or polar coordinates or...um those are all the calculus terms i can remember. Basically what I'm saying is that "Anjay the genius" would so lose in a chess game against either Alex or Jared.

Ok, I didn't start watching this until midnight because sometimes I have a life outside of kid nation, but I'll post more tomorrow.

Jauntiest Cap Award....

....goes to Markelle.  See below. 

 

 

This kid has, time and time again, proven himself worthy of this highly prestigious award.  See also

 

 

He even wears ski hats with pizazz:

 

 

Finally, we all know some people are born talented and others have to work at it.  It seems jauntiness is in Markelle's genes.  Check out this family picture:

 

 

Shout out to Julie for first noticing Markelle's jaunty cap.

Some Comments About the Letters

Jared's 4 yo sister wrote him a really long letter. 4 YEARS OLD! This should surprise no one. If you're going to memorize Shakespeare at age 9, you'd better start reading at 2. I hadn't even heard of Shakespeare until middle school.

Olivia's letter was TYPED. Can we really blame her for her lack of compassion? Who types a letter to their kid, especially when they sent that kid to ye olde child labor ghost town?

Why do these kids care what their dogs/baby brothers/parents are up to? When I went to camp, I totally cared more about WRITING letters, mainly to tell stories (kids are self-centered) and to complain. It's not a coincidence that the kids are only allowed to talk to their parents immediately after getting a check for $20k; obviously you'd be less likely to complain the minute after that happens. Imagine if they could write at any time? How would you, as a hypothetical parent, react to the following news:

Hi Mom and Dad. I opened up a store. Some kid pushed over my store. Then I burned my face with oil. - Divad

Hi, I wished someone happy birthday and the bigger kids yelled at me. Also, one kid called me a girl. - Pharoah

Namaste. Olivia is going to kill me. I'm afraid. Send help. - Anjay

Shalom! I just got deposed. - Zach

I was sexually harassed on the street. - Natasha

Hey y'all. They make me do dishes. - Taylor

p.s. Look at Kelsey in that picture. She is the only one who didn't get covered in pie. LEAST FAVORITE. Woah, I just noticed that her letter is typed too. What is wrong with these parents??

I'm Still Mad About The Ponies

Do you guys realize how much better the rest of the episodes would be if they had chosen the ponies? Colton obvs would teach kids how to lasso them. Pony rides. Pony races. Pony dress-up. Maybe one of the ponies is a wild mustang pony and Emily could tame it. ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES. I am seriously upset about this.

Why are there only 60 minutes in an hour?

There just is never enough time for all the goodness KN has to offer.  As such, the deleted scenes are a MUST.  Check out this week's gold star nominations:

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/kid_nation/video.php?mode=episodes&episode=10&showid=170441&autostart=1   At the end of the episode on Wednesday, one of the Councilmen said, "We thought hard about giving it to nobody!"  And I thought, wow, what a dick move that would have been!  But then, after seeing this clip, a bunch of people actually suggested that nobody get it (notably, Campbell and Olivia, among others).  Have the kids of KN lost their shiny gold-star worthiness? 

 

You know I've never had a problem with Laurel.  She seems like a pretty good kid, notwithstanding her "12 going on 38"ness.  But did she really deserve the gold star?  No (and I say this with full knowledge that Colton voted for her).  It was a consolation prize.  But here is where Kid Nation meets Survivor--it was strategy.  She's clearly still got the Green District wrapped around her little finger and the Council needed to make peace with her, while Hunter gets slighted yet again. Maybe the boys on the Council have learned that you catch more flies with sugar than honey--aka--bribe Laurel as opposed to harassing the Town women. 

kid nation mockery

Right after I posted that, my dad asked me if I wanted pez. I assumed he was making fun of me for watching kid nation, but no, he really bought pez. I'd rather have a pony. Who still buys pez?

The green team all raising their hands in disapproval reminded me of when those guys did the black power salute in the olympics.

Oh where did those kids get parasols btw?

stupid phonographs

Do the pies have any significance? Even a fake significance? Also, did you notice how Blaine initially put television FIRST, meaning he thought it was invented before the radio, typewriter, telephone, etc.? That was my favorite part. Second favorite- Pharoah repeatedly messing up the "communication training." Also loved Greg, Blaine, and DK becoming the town sexual harrassers. Why no pioneer journal this week? I AM SO MAD THAT THE TOWN COUNCIL DIDN'T PICK THE PONIES. This is worse than the bible decision. Ha, did you notice how Hunter's letter from his approx. 6 year-old brother mentioned playing with guns. YES. Ok, I am still mad about the ponies. The show isn't even over yet, but I said I'd help my mom polish silver and my family is not supportive of my kid nation habit, apparently. Maybe will post more later. HAPPY THANKSGIVING KID NATION FANS.

Bonanza City Needs an Arbitrator

I'm not even half-way through this episode and this much is clear:  Bonanza City needs an arbitrator.  JAMS, AAA, whatever, these kids need help.  Keeping with the concept, they could pull in a child arbitrator.  I knew some nerdy but good "Peer Mediators" in middle school.  Maybe these are still around?  Also, maybe the arbitrator could bring some scissors because all the boys need haircuts. 

Facebook Flop?

Also, just as an FYI, I added the KN facebook app.  So far, I don't believe it does a SINGLE DAMN THING.  It let me pick a thumbnail pic (and I, of course, chose Alex (Colton wasn't a choice)) but then I see no evidence of this at all on my profile.  If any of you were considering adding it, it might not be worth the effort.