Don't Laugh At Her

The positive reception to Olivia's stand-up routine is evidence of the fact that kids will laugh at anything. My sister teaches second grade and she tells me this ALL THE TIME. Now I believe her.

Side note: I have a new entry for my "a man needs..." tally. This week, Campbell told us that "without sugar, you couldn't live". This totally counts. I try and listen for these pronouncements re: BCity necessities, but if anyone heard any others, PLEASE let me know. Sometimes I am too distracted by Alex jumping up and down or something.

Reason #47 Why There Should Be A Kid Nation DVD (With Deleted Scenes)

According to this photo, Mike sang in the talent show. Jana also tells me that Nathan sang Greensleeves. Why did CBS deny the television audience these talents? I don't think it's because the editors didn't want to show kids who performed badly (b/c mini Billy Joel was definitely not good) so what is with this censorship? Oh, the reason I care is that I need more evidence to properly determine just what Nathan's deal is. Greensleeves probably means it is less-likely that he has OCD and more likely that it is just a case of homeschoolitis. Why does CBS deny me the ability to make a proper diagnosis??

update: I just realized that Jana meant that there is actual video of Nathan singing on the CBS website. And of all the kids. I am definitely going to watch all of these at some point and I am seriously upset that I have a lot of work to do.

SOPHIA IS THE BEST

Jana is insane. The other half of this blog (ie, ME!!!) supports Sophia. Sure, she is going a little loopy from being stuck in BCity with a bunch of 8 year olds, some biscuits, and a lot of rats, but it is still undeniable that she is awesome. She doesn't fall for the producers' stupid stunts like the religious fervor (p.s. Laurel sang amazing grace a few weeks too late to participate in the Holy Wars) or the excitement about the lamer prizes or basically most of the manipulative tactics these producers use. As one of the older kids, she already kind of has her adult personality, and it's not that bad. I do think she reminds me of some of the people we went to school with, who take everything in life a little too seriously (Mer and I came up with specific names. I'll email you) but whatever, I still like her. Sophia for the win. Back me up here people!

Dancing Machine

My posts have been a little negative lately.  From now on I focus on the positive things about BC--which are plentiful.  I've always expected great things from Campbell (see my 10/18 post).  Well, last night he started to deliver!  Not only did he chew gum like he was being paid buffalo nickels for it (which in a way, I guess he was), but he did it with pizzazz!  He danced all around while chewing and the boy's got moves!  I wish there was a clip of this, but I can't find one. :( 

Poser-Alert

Something's been bugging me for a while.  Sophia has you all brainwashed into thinking she is awesome.  Well, I've got news for you:  SOPHIA IS A POSER.  She wants people to think she is unique and all hippy-reincarnate, but she tries too hard.  And before I continue, let me say to you, anonymous, I'm sure she's a perfectly good kid, intelligent, ballsy, blah blah blah.  But she is a poser.  Oh, let me lay down in the street and pretend I'm dying of boredom (see below), but when everyone else starts doing it, I'm out of here, peace.  I know another way to get her out of the street--give Colton a couple of root beers and hand him a cart. 

I also think is was slightly evil to:  (i) Attempt to dash Morgan's conception of God a few episodes back and (ii) continually say she disapproved of the job the council was doing when she really only disapproved of Taylor.  All in all, I think she let that gold star go straight to her head.  Poser. 

Jared Appreciation Day

I really don't blame the editors for including Jared as part of every subplot in this episode. Best kid!

Jared Highlights
- The matter-of-fact way in which he said "You know what, I wasn't the worst"
- He explained the cause of the dark ages
- Henry V!
- This quote re: GregandBlaine in dresses: "It takes a lot of talent to get up on stage and not show your fruit of the looms"
- The lollypop pimp cane's reappearance (and the vest!)
- The clip of him saying he was mad they didn't get the reward (this is a highlight b/c of the fact that they chose to show him here, even though he didn't say anything particularly hilarious, even though he was already in this episode 10x).

BONUS: Alex Highlights
- Talking about BCity's Paris and Nicole, and saying he didn't know what that means!
- The 18 random shots of him in a crowd (they showed him constantly!)
- His sunglasses
- His pep talk to Savannah and how he told her she is a contribution to Bonanza City. Cutest kid.

OK, fine, here are some other non Jared/Alex highlights
- Markelle's jaunty cap
- Kentucky Dinner (roadkill?)
- Colton's new mowhawk
- Campbell's bird calls (dedicated to his bird!!)

Also, did you guys notice how the producers used quarters instead of buffalo nickels in the gum ball challenge? Was this to make sure that no one pocketed a buffalo nickel?? First the padlocked ballot boxes and now this. NO TRUST!

Lax in my Duties

I know I haven't posted in a while.  I'm sorry. As you are all aware, I am serious legal professional and sometimes that takes up my time.  However, I recently evaluated my priorities and decided the blogging is one of them.  Expect more from me in the future.

 

In the meantime, I was SHOCKED to discover that some people outside our common facebook friends read this (see comments to my scathing review of Guylan).  While I stand by my opinions, I would like to add the following to my critique of the Town Councilmember:  Yes, anonymous, you are correct that at least he has the guts to go on the show. 

 

Note:  This blog is for entertainment purposes.  And it is entertaining.  If you don't like our opinions (in the words of Taylor)  DEAL WITH IT. 

Someone made a kid nation drinking game!!!

I am always really glad to see that we are not the only 4 normal adults who appreciate the brilliance of this show. The Kid Nation Drinking Game gives me faith in humanity.

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2007/11/kid_nation_the_drinking_game

Those kids really are always mentioning George Bush! Sophia is always telling it like it is! And I think there are at least 15 kids who haven't spoken yet.

Anyway, we totally have to do this. I think we need to add in something about Pharoah to get Julie to participate. Also, I am going to drink anytime the following things happen:

- Greg shows his softer side (like by wearing a dress!)
- Mike adds 14 extra syllables to a word
- Kelsey fails to correctly conjugate a verb
- Nathan exhibits signs of OCD
- Any kid wears his/her bandana in a way we haven't seen before (hopefully Guylan will come through on this one)
- Kelsey tries to be someone else's sidekick (she has already tried and failed with Taylor and Divad)

Mo Money, Mo Problems

So, the contrived theme of this week's episode was money. The town council found a treasure chest, aka "$18.50 worth of greed." Knowing that the kids would just "blow it all on stupid things," the TC decided to buy necessities, like a guitar and some kites. Um, ok.

I want a goose to lay golden eggs for Easter....
Two things about the showdown: the red team needs to stop making serious tactical errors and the host doesn't know the definition of money laundering. Poor guy is probs developmentally disabled and getting paid $2 a day to host this shit. That's FORTY NICKELS.

Side note: why can't Kelsey conjugate verbs or tell the difference b/w nouns and verbs or do whatever it is she can't do? This week's quote: "He was trying to competing." Maybe instead of spending all her time trying desperately to be someone's sidekick, she should read a book. I think I know where she can find a bible. Or maybe she can read something else, because we all know she doesn't know a lot about Muslim or Jewish.

The Bill Gates of Bonanza City

Finally someone formed a legitimate business. Previous entrepreneurial schemes, such as Sophia's street dancing, Mallory's doll sitting, and The Kind Potato Girl's reselling of free food were not impressive. But HOLY BANANA BREAD, selling necklaces was an awesome idea. Jared walking around with his new duds and lollypop pimp cane was the best part of this episode. Well, that and all the crazy shit he said, such as "there's a bonfire in my pocket and it's burning to be spent." Jared never disappoints. Did y'all catch him flashing the peace sign?

Also, shoutout to Alex for continuing to be the cutest kid. That clip of him screaming was beyond adorable. So what if his logic is a little wacky--- that kid rules.